I have a toolbox...

...and so does my husband.















Here is his toolbox (No, sweetie, of course I am not letting the pup mess with your toolbox....).















It is traditional. It is "manly". His toolbox contains tools...you know, a screwdriver, a wrench, a hammer, a level. Tools.

In addition, his toolbox is stinky. There have been times when I have literally been across the apartment and found myself yelling out, "Oh dear, have you opened that wretched little toolbox again?" The stench is actually really hard to describe. Imagine if you took a toolbox, filled it with really really stinky (possibly molding) gym socks, submerged it in pee, left it out in the sun to dry, and then lit it on fire...inside of a sewer. Generally, that is what is smells like. I don't fancy it.


Here is my toolbox. Yup. It is made out of sturdy cardboard. It is yellow, with tiny blue flowers and roosters on it. It has a cute little bamboo handle. A blue bow made out of ribbon. It is perfectly lovely.

My toolbox contains things that, in my mind, are apparently tools. Let's take a look.


Batteries, a nail clippers, and a lighter. Not just any lighter, but a lighter with a moose on it. I love moose. Once, while sleeping in a chicken coop with my cousins, we were almost attacked by a moose. True story. The lighter is particularly curious as I do not smoke. Ever. Nor have I ever. But, I imagine that sometimes when repairing things with your tools, you get frustrated and just need to start a fire. Possibly just burn the repair. That is what I do with my tools and my lighter. Fix things.


Two locks. I don't know the combination for either. These, however, are useful for smashing things when you are working on repairs. Maybe you are having difficulty, say, cutting a hole. My solution: use your combination lock to smash a hole. These locks are from middle school. They were used on my gym locker. Any item from middle school brings out the urge to smash.


An old cell phone that doesn't work. Basically you can pretend to call for help when you are pretending to fix things.


A variety of nails and batteries.


Matchboxes from the Holiday Inn and New York, New York, which is apparently a casino/hotel in Las Vegas. This is also curious as I have never been to Las Vegas. Hm....


Matchboxes from Country Kitchen. I have been here. I regret it which is probably why I took the matches. The food made me want to burn things. No, seriously, these matchboxes are a back-up for the lighter.


Mounting squares and some sort of tape. I don't have a hammer, so all those nails I have aren't doing me any good. I can just tape things up. On second thought....I do have a combination lock or two. I could most definitely use those to pound nails. Yes, this is a good idea.


Stick pins, for pinning. Possibly could also be used to pick locks. I have skills in this area.


A button. I think this is a decorative embellishment more than anything as I don't have any needle and thread. I see this as more of a trademark piece. Something I can tape to my repairs to let others know that it is handy work of my doing. Sorta like a signature.

I am clearly a handy-woman responsible for many home improvement projects. Clearly.