Apparently there was an earthquake

*Note: I originally had a different post planned for today, however, after the panic and chaos I experienced as a result to this mornings events, the post you were going to read today, you will now read tomorrow, and now you will read about panic and chaos. End note.*

My Monday morning started out much like any other; the puppy misbehaved, the puppy peed where he shouldn't have, I punished the puppy, I searched the Internet for ways to better train the puppy, I got several new ideas with no real hope of success, I walked the puppy, the puppy peed on strangers, I searched the Internet for ways to get the puppy to stop peeing on strangers, etc. etc. The search revealed several splendid ideas, such as paying someone else to train the puppy, and I decided to head to the pet store to inquire as to whether this was a financially reasonable option. It isn't.

All was not lost, however, as I also needed several other puppy items at the pet store. I gathered my items and headed to the check-out. Right in the middle of my splendid conversation with the cashier ("Oh really...you like puppies?? Well...I just so happen to have...) the store manager came barreling out of his office. In one fluid movement, the office door swung open. The manager, a balding middle aged man of portly stature (think George Costanza) catapulted out of the office door, hands waving in the air, and began yelling, "Earthquake!"

Confused, as nothing was moving, shaking, or even wobbling, I turned to the cashier and asked, "Here?". She said, "Probably". Still rather confused, I thought that maybe my question wasn't clear. I asked again, "We are having an earthquake right now?" Again, she responded "Probably". Feeling as though I had just stepped into the twilight zone, I gathered my purchases and headed to the car.

Once inside, I turned on the radio and began listening as calls came in and people described "the jolt". Let me reiterate once more that I felt absolutely NOTHING. I am not denying the fact that somewhere, there was probably an earthquake, however, there definitely WAS NOT one in the pet store.

Putting the "big one" behind me, I headed across the street to the grocery store. Anyone who has ever grocery shopped between 10am-12pm on a weekday, knows that this is typically social hour for the 50-60 year old crowd. Well, let me tell you, all the ladies had their underwear in a bundle today! Everywhere I went people were talking about the earthquake. I, having not felt a thing, couldn't help but chuckle under my breath at the post-quake chaos I was surrounded by.

I finished my grocery shopping and once again found myself in the check-out line. As my last few groceries were being checked, I noticed a cashier several aisles ahead of me raise her hands up, as if at gun-point, and slowly back away from her register exclaiming, "My register is down!" At this precise moment, another cashier, several aisles behind me yells out, "So is mine! Are we having another earthquake?"

Are we having another earthquake??? Folks, is the ground moving under your feet? Are the lights swinging from the ceiling??? Is my little bag of broccoli dancing around on the check-out?? No, no, no, and no. No, I don't believe we are having an earthquake.

I turned to the cashier, smiled, and said "Well, looks like I am getting out of here just in time! Hopefully your register doesn't crash as well." She told me I had better hurry home. Like any sound minded person living in the epicenter, that is just what I did, hurried home. I had survived the great quake of March 2009 and I wasn't about to take any chances.